The Twelve Days of Christmas
(Or the Everlasting Ham*)
On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me:
I've bought a giant ham and a proper Christmas tree.
On the second day of Christmas we laughed and danced a little jig
as we tucked into our ham - a most delicious pig.
On the third day of Christmas came the people from next door.
The ham tasted just as good as it had done before.
On the fourth day of Christmas came relations, young and old.
We finished up the Christmas pud and had the ham cold.
On the fifth day of Christmas, outside the rain was relentless
But we were nice and dry inside - we had the ham regardless
On the sixth day of Christmas, the Christmas spirit died
As the children fought and bickered - we had ham rissoles, fried.
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love he did wince
When he sat down at the table and was offered ham mince.
On the eighth day of Christmas the dog had run for shelter.
He’d seen our curried ham and the glass of Alka Seltzer.
On the ninth day of Christmas by lunchtime Dad was blotto.
He knew that hog was back again, this time as a risotto.
On the tenth day of Christmas we were drinking home-made brew.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, we were eating piggy stew.
On the eleventh day of Christmas the Christmas tree was moulting,
With chilli, soy and oyster sauce the ham was quite revolting.
On the twelfth day of Christmas we had smiles upon our lips.
The guests had gone, the ham had too - we dined on fish and chips!
…
(*With ackowledgement to the The Twelve Days of Christmas - Or the Everlasting Turkey)
Brother Frank I have become one of your disciples lead us onward so you can take up the post you have longed for on the 15th floor 😊
It's the food that keeps on giving (Repeat, repeeaaat the sounding joy!).